By David Ndirangu
Worth Noting:
- Allow your child to freely express their emotions. It will help the child accept his emotions and be able to manage them. They should understand that it is normal to have feelings and express them without hurting others. The child will develop self- control and coping mechanisms.
- Our feelings move through the person, get hold of the person and then fade away and so is a child’s feelings. You should listen to your child’s feelings and allow them to go through the process. When emotions are repressed they get compressed inside rather than being expressed in a healthy manner. It is common for growing children to throw outbursts once in a while. These tantrums are a natural way to help children vent their emotions.
This term Emotional Intelligence (EI) can be defined as the individual’s capacity to recognize and manage his or her feelings and those of others. Parents, guardians and teachers should endeavour to develop EI in children from an early age so that they eventually become empathetic grown-ups. There are several strategies that can be employed to foster EI in children.
You should at all times strive to encourage an honest and open discussion about how the child is feeling. Many times little children do not understand what they are going through. It is upon you as the grown up to help the child know whether it is sadness, frustration, anger, loneliness and so forth. You may even try using visual aids like emotional facial expression flash cards for this purpose.
Make the child free to express their feelings without fear of being judged. Acknowledge the child’s feelings. Make the child know that you understand his position but you may not necessarily agree with it. Being understood will make the child feel better when he does not get what he wanted. This is known as validation and empathy.
Children who have been taught to ‘put themselves in someone else’s shoes’ are more inclined to be kind and understanding when they relate with others. In order to train your children to be more compassionate; talk to them regularly about their emotions – discuss how their actions and words are likely to affect the feelings of others. Children will develop empathy by experiencing it from others. Be a good role model. Demonstrate empathy as a grown up both in action and words. Use story books with relatable characters and real life examples that the children can relate to. Practise active listening and teach the children how to actively listen to others without interrupting them. Create scenarios where children can role play different situations and relate them to their own real life experiences.
Allow your child to freely express their emotions. It will help the child accept his emotions and be able to manage them. They should understand that it is normal to have feelings and express them without hurting others. The child will develop self- control and coping mechanisms.
Our feelings move through the person, get hold of the person and then fade away and so is a child’s feelings. You should listen to your child’s feelings and allow them to go through the process. When emotions are repressed they get compressed inside rather than being expressed in a healthy manner. It is common for growing children to throw outbursts once in a while. These tantrums are a natural way to help children vent their emotions. We need to help the children feel safe to express their emotions.
Children should be taught that even as they express their emotions, they should do so within certain acceptable limits. Train your child to breathe through their emotions, to feel them and tolerate them without the need to act on them. There is need to learn to express their needs without attacking another person. Allow your child to explore ways of solving their own emotional problem. Try not be tempted to rush to solve it for them.
A child who has EI should be able to take responsibility for their actions and know that it is necessary to sincerely apologise to the person they have wronged. Children should be taught appropriate words to express remorse.
Developing emotional intelligence in children has several benefits; it makes them more resilient to life’s challenges and setbacks – they are better prepared to cope since they will have developed tools to manage their emotions effectively. It improves their self –awareness and they are thus able to forge and sustain healthy relationships with good interpersonal skills. These children are able to manage conflicts with their siblings, friends and classmates through amicably solving their disputes.
They develop effective communication skills and are able to express their thoughts, emotions and needs since they can understand other’s perspectives and emotions. They will concentrate better in their school work and have greater capacity to manage academic stressors thereby improving their academic performance.
Children with emotional intelligence are less likely to suffer stress and anxiety as they will have developed coping mechanisms to deal with stressful situations.
David Ndirangu Bsc. International Business Administration (USIU- A) CPA (K) Business Management Consultant and Author of the book; This is DAVE. Email: ndirangudavid2023@gmail.com
